10 Rules of Love

And when I say love.. I mean sex (chosen from past experiences)

1. Don't trust him when he asks to only 'stick the tip in'.

2. Watch out for that 3rd hand.

3. 'Donkey Gong' me and die.

4. No. It's NOT a 'protein shake' and it won't make my skin clearer.

5. They lie when they say it was an accident.  They know full well what hole they were aiming for.

6. The sentences "This has never happened before" or "My body just isn't used to you yet" are complete BULLSHIT excuses for the fact that they just can't get it up.  Don't take it personally.. it's their issue, not yours.

7. The pull out method doesn't work.

8. Never use the term "Ohh God! Stop teasing me!! I want you in me so bad" until you are 100% for SURE he isn't ALREADY in.

9. Never snicker when he reviews himself as if he was showing some great art.  He's trying to be sexy.. doesn't matter if he's smaller than your thumb.

10. Unless you want him to NEVER have sex with you again.. never say 'Why are you stopping?? That's it?? Seriously?? You're done already??'

Hope these will help ya'll along the way.. or at least make you chuckle.  Wish someone would have given ME these a long time ago lol