Compromises

**Happy Friday everyone! I figured I'd give ya'll a bonus post day 'cus well.. 'cus I can't sleep! :)

As I took my long shower I kept thinking I had made many bad choices over the past few days. The biggest one being coming down to Miami with a man I obviously didn't know as well as I thought and the other, telling The Personal Trainer about a (kind of) relationship that probably wasn't going to go anywhere.

Taking my time, I exited the shower and slowly dried off. I was hoping that the longer I took, the better my chances were that he'd be asleep when I got out.

No such luck.

I quietly put my things down and climbed into bed, cursing myself for not asking him to get a room with 2 beds instead of 1. I rolled onto my side away from him and tried to make myself fall asleep. Since I really hadn't done much that day, I wasn't sleepy. AT. ALL.

Sighed and readjusted my pillows then felt a hand starting to drape across my hip.

What the fuck was this asshole thinking?? Did he SERIOUSLY think he was gonna get some after everything that happened?? I laid there still, trying act like I was dozing off.

"Hey" he whispered, but I didn't answer.

A few minutes later, he said again, "Hey." pause. "J, I know you're not asleep."

"Yea, and?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure. Once you remove your hand off my ass" He did and rolled onto his back. I didn't move. I had no desire to face him at the moment.

He let out a big sigh "J. I'm sorry."

"hmm mm" was all the reply he received.

"I'm sorry I called you a bitch. I didn't really mean it. I was just to irritated. I know I'm really bad with directions and it's a sore spot with me and when you kept saying something about it.. well.. anyway, I'm sorry."

"You wanna apologize for anything else?" I asked, still not facing him.

"Ummm,...??" I could tell he had NO idea what I was talking about. So I thought I'd enlighten him.

"Look. I'm not one of those money hungry chicks who expects to be treated like a queen when she's with a guy but seriously!? You couldn't even OFFER to pay for my half of dinner? Not to mention breakfast! And you can't stay out late 'cus you have to get up early?? What was the point of me even coming on this trip? So you'd have ass easily accessible whenever YOU wanted it?" And with that, I finally rolled over and sat up. This was definately a conversation where I wanted to see his face and I continued. "Tell me Recruiter! Why DID you bring me down here? I felt like a damn child today with my parents at work and stuck in the house, not allowed to go outside..."

"You were free to leave. I didn't say you couldn't go anywhere"

"Yes, I was FREE to leave, but where the hell was I going to go? ESPECIALLY after we were told it wasn't safe for a girl to be out by herself around here. What did you actually expect me to do all day?"

"J. I'm sorry. I guess I really didn't put a lot of thought into that part. I really wanted you to come. I really enjoy being with you and thought that since we lived far enough apart that we can't see eachother often, this would be a great get away for us and I REALLY didn't expect for today to take as long as it did. I honestly didn't!"

"O.K. so I can't fault you for the time away. It wasn't your fault the meetings ran over. But I felt like you didn't even take into account that I was here all day. Alone. With nothing to do. I was stir crazy! I can't handle being stuck here for another 3 days like I was today."

"I understand that. It would drive me crazy too. What if I got you a taxi or something to drive you where ever you wanted tomorrow? And I'll make sure he stays the whole time so you don't have to worry about finding a ride back when you're done."

"That sounds great.. however.. I don't have the money to pay for something like that. This isn't Mexico.. you can't rent a taxi for all day for only $20!"

"True. When I get up in the morning, I'll talk to the front desk and see what they recommend. I'll give them my personal credit card and have it paid that way. I really wanted this to be a fun time together. I don't want to fight. Can we try to start over?"

I contemplated that for a few minutes and realized that was probably my best bet. I was stuck here for another 3 days and I better try to make the best of it.

"Yes, we can start over. But, with some conditions."

"Oh and what are those?" he asked, as he moved closer towards me, placing his hand on my thigh and smiling.

"Well.. tomorrow, let's not wait so long after you get out to go to dinner. Also, keep me more updated about your day, like how long you'll be there, if it's running late.. anything. Even if you can't call, just shoot me a text. I just don't want to be kept in the dark the whole time. Also! We're going out tomorrow night and we're finding something to do. I can't stand being in the small ass hotel room for long periods of time."

He agreed and sealed the deal with a kiss.

"Oh and I'm sorry too. I won't make any more remarks about your driving. BUT, if I say turn somewhere, will you listen to me? I'm not trying to poke fun, but I seem to have a better sense of direction than you do."

He agreed and sealed that deal with a kiss as well.

The kisses turned to touches and touches turned to more. Maybe this little fight was actually going to do some good?

Challenging

By the time 3pm rolled around I was stir crazy. I had toured the whole hotel more than once, sat down by the pool, read a few chapters in a book I brought and watched many episodes of Cops. All the while, the conversation with The Personal Trainer replaying in my head. I kept telling myself I was stupid and handled the situation wrong. I should have waited until I got back into town to talk to him. I should have just told him I was down there with a friend for a few days and that we'd catch up once I got back. But stupid me.. I didn't.

At 3:15 I called The Army Recruiter to see how much longer he was going to be but got no answer. I was starving and beginning to feel like a prisoner. I almost ordered room service again but since he told me he'd be out by 3, I figured I'd wait assuming he'd be starving by the time he got done, too.

It wasn't until after 4 that he finally called me back to let me know he was on his way. He said that he was indeed hungry, but wanted to come up and change out of uniform before taking me out to dinner. We hung up and I quickly got myself ready. A few minutes later I heard him entering the room and while I expected to be excited to see him, I was surprised that I wasn't.

We both said a casual (and somewhat awkward) hello and he went to change. In my attempt to fill the silence I asked what he wanted for dinner and his reply was "I don't care.. what do you want?"

I didn't know what restaurants were around, so I suggested we just hop in the car and go look. He reluctantly agreed but said he wanted to just 'chill out' for a bit before going anywhere. A few HOURS later, we were finally on our way. After many wrong turns, 1 way streets going in the opposite directed we wanted to go and a few near-miss accidents, we finally saw an Longhorn Steakhouse and decided on that. Really.. I just wanted out of the damn car. His driving was beginning to make me sick and the death-grip I had on the 'oh shit' handle was making my hand hurt. We argued constantly about his inability to follow directions and the fact that he could get lost in a paper bag.

We didn't have to wait long for a seat and our (somewhat unfriendly) bantering continued throughout the meal. When the check came, I noticed he was studying the receipt with severe concentration.

"What's the matter? Did they charge us wrong?"

"Oh no.. I was just trying to figure out your portion of the meal"

Now, it wasn't like I was opposed to paying for myself and it wasn't like I expected a guy to buy all the time.. but damnit! I didn't expect to have to feed myself for the WHOLE trip!! When he said he wanted to take me out to dinner, I was under the assumption that meant TREAT me to dinner since I was caged up all day. I DIDN'T expect him to mean.. he was just DRIVING me to dinner. I tried to suppress my irritation as I dug for my bank card in my purse. I guess he caught on to my slight attitude because he attempted to explain why he couldn't pay for me.

"The Army is paying for my meal since they're the reason why I'm here. But, I can't charge your food to the account, too."

I muttered a "it's fine" as I asked the server to split our check. We paid our bill and headed back out. I was dreading getting back into the car with him but it wasn't like I could walk back to the hotel.

"You wanna do anything while we're out?"

"Sure! You have anything in mind?" I was hoping it was something that didn't require us to drive much.

"Ohh.. hmmm.. not really. I don't know much around here. We could try to find a club, though I'm not really into that."

I wasn't into the club/bar scene either so I was glad he didn't really have his heart set on that. "Why don't we just go down to the beach?" It was going on 8pm and the sun was almost completely set. I thought a sunset walk on the beach would be nice and relaxing and hoped it would bring us a little closer. And get me out of my pissy state.

"Yea.. I guess we could do that. We'll just have to find a place to get there but we can't be out too late. I have to get up early in the morning."

"It's only 8pm. How 'late' is late for you?"

"Well.. we can hang out for like an hour or so" I rolled my eyes as I turned to face the window.

After another hour of driving around aimlessly trying to find a place to park that wouldn't get the car towed and me trying to keep my dinner from coming back up.. I suggested we just give up and head back to the hotel. He mumbled something inaudible under his breath but the impression I got was something smartass or rude. I will admit, by this time we were both getting pretty snippy.

"I really can't understand how you're so directionally challenged!! I hope to GOD you never have to lead the troops anywhere! The way you get lost, you'd lead them right into an ambush!!"

"Why don't you just shut up and sit there? You think you could do any better??"

"YES! Actually I DO!!"

"Are you ALWAYS such a nag?? Or are you just being a bitch for my benefit?"

"OH you just bring out the bitch in me."

We couldn't get back to the hotel quick enough and as soon as we parked, I fled up to the room. I let the room door slam behind me, which was just a second before him, almost hitting him in the face. As I smiled to myself, I quickly grabbed my P.J.'s and headed for the bathroom. Before I got to the door, he stopped me.

"What's your problem anyway?"

"What's my PROBLEM?? I have been cooped up in the damn hotel all fucking day! Couldn't go anywhere! Couldn't do anything! You were supposed to be back here around 11-12.. but you don't get back here until after 4! I'm STARVING and all you want to do is sit on your ass and watch T.V.!!"

"You knew I had to work while I was down here!" He yelled back

"Yes! I did! But you said 'a few hours each day'! That was NOT 'a few hours'! That was all fucking day!!!"

"You're just pissed because I didn't pay for dinner"

"NO! I'm pissed because you brought me down here on false pretenses!! You made it sound like it would be a mini-fucking-vacation for the two of us with just some work sprinkled in there! But in reality.. it was the exact opposite!"

And with that, I pushed passed him and headed for a hot shower.

The Phone Call

I walked out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette. I didn't know why it was so hard to tell the Personal Trainer about The Army Recruiter. It wasn't like I had a serious relationship with The Personal Trainer at all.. in reality.. it was only (barely) friends with benefits.

I dialed his number hoping he wouldn't answer, but he did.

"Hey, you busy?"

"Nope, just waiting for you to call me back. What's up with your phone?"

"Oh.. where I'm at I have really bad reception"

"Where you're at?.....(pause) Where are you?"

"Miami" another long pause for both of us

"What are you doin' in Miami?"

"Well.. that's what I want to tell you about. I've been casually dating The Army Recruiter for a bit now and he's the one that invited me down here for a few days"

"Is he there now?"

"No, he's working right now but should be back soon." another pause, so I continued, "So.. umm.. I think it's getting kinda serious with the two of us..."

"Hmm.. O.K... and what does that mean?"

"It means.. well.. I don't cheat."

"What?"

"I don't cheat. If I'm in a relationship with someone.. I don't cheat on them."

"So........"

"So.. I guess this means no more meetings for us. I don't know what else to say. I would say to give me some time and see how things go with him.. but that's not fair to you at all."

"I see.. well.. I would say that I understand.. but I don't. Thanks for letting me know"

And the phone went dead. I was shocked. I couldn't believe he actually hung up on me. It wasn't in an aggressive way.. but he still disconnected the call and that bothered me a little. I felt really bad about telling him the way I did, but I didn't know what else to do. I hate lying.. not that I'm any good at it anyway. On one hand, I was glad I told the truth.. but on the other.. I felt like a total hypocrite.

For the rest of my waiting until The Army Recruiter arrived, I tried to keep myself busy. I called my mom to check in with her, tidied up the hotel some and flipped threw T.V. show after T.V. show to keep my mine off the The Personal Trainer. It was definately eating at me.

My phone rang shortly around 11:20 and I ran to it hoping it was The Personal Trainer calling me back. I kept hoping that he didn't intentionally hang up on me.. maybe he lost signal? Maybe he was at work and had to go really quick? Maybe he was at home.. thought he was alone.. but his wife came back? To my disappointment, it was The Army Recruiter calling to tell me that his meetings were running late and he'd be out later than he expected. He didn't expect to be out before 3pm. I sighed, not because I wanted to see him but because I was bored out of my mind sitting alone in the hotel. I had no way to get anywhere except on foot and I had no where to go anyway. From what I was told by a few people, walking around in Miami alone is not a good idea for a female.. no matter what time of day it was.

As I hung up the phone I wondered.. why was the conversation I had with The Personal Trainer upsetting me more than the fact that I wasn't getting to spend a lot of time with the man I came to Miami with?

The Army Recruiter Con't.

I finally woke up around 10am and strolled over to the balcony to have a cigarette. The weather was warm and since we were only a block from the ocean, there was a nice warm breeze coming through.

I wondered around the room for a bit, trying to figure out what to do for the next few hours without him and decided to order some breakfast. There was a note sitting by the phone from him:

"If you order room service, you have to pay for it. Don't charge it to the room."

Shit! I thought.. I don't even know if I have cash on me. Plus, I didn't even know if I could order it without charging it to the room. I called the front desk to ask if I could pay instead of charging it to the room and if they accepted credit cards since I found no cash in my wallet. What should have been a 5 minute conversation turned into a 20 minute one because the lady that answered the phone spoke hardly any English and had NO idea what I was asking.

Finally, she connected me to the kitchen where I eventually found someone who spoke enough broken English to answer me and I ordered.

Just as I was hanging up with them, my cell phone rang. I was half hoping it was The Army Recruiter because I was already beyond bored, but it wasn't. It was The Personal Trainer.

"It's hammer time again" He said in the form of a greeting.

"WHAT? What are you talking about??" I was completely lost

"You know.. time to get together again!"

"OHHH.." was all I could think of to say at the moment. I didn't know what to tell him.

"Just ohh? That's all I get is just an OH?"

As I was trying to answer him, my phone started to lose connection, which was a blessing in disguise.

"I'll call you back when I get a better connection" I repeated a few times hoping he heard me and I hung up. I sat there and wondered what I should do. Should I tell him the truth or lie? We weren't exclusive by any means. Hell, he was married! But for some reason I felt like I couldn't.. or shouldn't.. tell him the truth.

The knocking of room service interrupted my thoughts and I quickly ran to answer the door. By this time I was starving and I wanted to get back to my dilemma.

Over my bagel and cranberry juice I thought of the different scenarios I could tell The Personal Trainer. I also wondered what my relationship with The Army Recruiter was. Are WE exclusive? We never talked about it, but I couldn't help but wonder.. if he didn't want to be exclusive, would he have asked me to come with him to Miami? If we were exclusive, then I'd definitely have to tell The Personal Trainer the truth, right? I don't cheat. I know it sounds VERY hypocritical, since The Personal Trainer was married, but I looked at it like.. it wasn't MY marriage and I wasn't doing anything wrong... right?

I had come to the decision that I had to tell The Personal Trainer the truth. It was only fair. He had told me the truth about him being married, that he'd never leave her.. but the only difference was... I wouldn't do what I was expecting him to do.

Cheat.

I picked up the phone, grabbed my cigarettes, went back on the balcony and dialed his number.