Good morning/dirty little secrets

A month had passed and no topic of meeting up again with The Personal Trainer came. We continued to chat almost daily through IM sticking to our regular flirting and what-not, but neither of us brought up the topic. Though thoughts of him touching me again were a constant him my head, I was in no rush. I knew his schedule was hectic and I also knew he was married with 2 kids, but I didn't care. I kept telling myself it wasn't my problem, it wasn't my marriage and if he was fine with it, so was I.

Since I worked a rotating shift at the hospital I always had at least 2 days off during the week. Those days him and I would occasionally talk on the phone while I did things around the house. One weekday morning my phone rang very early. It wasn't even 8am and both my cell and home phone kept ringing. Since I was asleep (I had just done about 4 days straight of 12 hr shifts), I had been ignoring both, but who ever was on the other line was intent on speaking to me. I rolled over still groggy and finally answered "What?" was my greeting to the caller.

"Now, is that any way to answer the phone?" It was the Personal Trainer on the other hand, obviously having a laugh at my greeting.

"Ughh.. it's not even 8am yet. What do you want?" I'm not the friendliest person in the morning.

He continued to laugh and told me he was already at work and bored.

"And you thought calling me was a good idea why?" O.k.. so I was being snippy.. it was early and I wasn't in the mood.

"Aww.. come on babe. Well, really.. I was just sitting here thinking about you. Want to know what I was thinking?" I could hear the smile forming on his lips through the phone

"Sure" I replied, closing my eyes again hoping this wasn't going to be a long conversation and that I could get back to sleep soon.

He proceeded to explain in great detail what he wanted to do to me. About half way through his explaination my mind became fully awake and my body started to respond to his words.

"Ohhh" was the only word I could form. Just the thought of his words, they were making me wish he was in my bed at that moment.

"Can we meet up?" His question caught me of guard but I was eagerly said yes. Instead of him coming to my apartment, we decided to meet up at a hotel. He said he'd make the arrangements and call back, giving me time to jump in the shower and get ready.

20 minutes and a quick shave of the girly parts later, my phone rang and it was him. We were meeting at 10am at a hotel not far from his place. He had decided to tell work that he had some personal business he had to take care of and needed to leave shortly. That gave me a little longer to sit and anticipate our first real time together. By 9am, I couldn't wait any longer and left my apartment, taking the long way to the hotel. Even with my efforts to prolong my trip, I made it there in 20 minutes. I had just enough time to finish a cigarette when I saw him pull in and park. Walking over to my car, the sight of him gave me butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know if I was nervous, anxious, scared or what. We greeted eachother warmly and he said he'd be back in a few minutes after he checked in and got the room number. True to his word, he was back out fairly quickly and he handed me the room key asking me to go inside and that he'd meet me in there in a bit.

I gathered my things and walked into the hotel while I saw his car leaving the parking lot. I had no idea where he was going or why and I didn't ask. I found the room with ease and settled in as much as I could. I was still very nervous and I couldn't sit still. I didn't know if I should be sitting/laying on the bed when he returned or should I sit in the (uncomfortable) couch, or in a chair? I opted for the bed and found some mind-numbing show to watch. What seemed like an hour, though it was only 15 minutes, a knock at the door told me he had returned.

Taking 1 more deep breath, I opened the door and knew it was now or never. Though I wanted him badly, could I really go through with this? Knowing he had a wife and kids... could I really be 'the other woman'? What's going to happen once this was over today? What kind of relationship could we ever really have? He already made it clear he wouldn't leave his wife.. so where did that leave me?

Could I really be O.K. with being his dirty little secret?